Three Crazy Ideas
by CosmicalMadison
Summary: When John decides to call in sick to take a little vacation, nothing goes according to plan. Songfic.


**Title:** Three Crazy Ideas

**Author:** CosmicalMadison

**Rating:** K

**Shippage:** None intended, but maybe a hint of Sheyla if you're desperate.

**Summary:** When John calls in sick to take a little vacation, things don't go according to plan. Songfic.

**A/N:** So, this is my first ever songfic and it's probably not that great, but I hope you'll read it anyway. The lyrics are in _italics_ and the song is "I Don't Have to Be Me Till Monday" by Steve Azar.

Now, without further ado, enjoy the story.

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_I got me a brand new car waiting in the driveway_

_Shining like a bright new star_

_Been wishing on it every day_

_To take me away from here_

Still lying on his bed in his quarters, John Sheppard stared out the window at the pure blue sky. It was much too beautiful a day to be sitting in his office filing reports, but of course Elizabeth would have his head if he didn't show up.

That was when the first crazy idea struck.

_So I called in to where I work_

_Told a little white lie_

Being careful not to chuckle and therefore give himself away, he reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the communicator sitting there. He punched in the mission leader's number and then waited for her to answer.

"Good morning, John," she said a little sarcastically, "what can I do for you at 5:30 am?"

"Yeah, Elizabeth," he answered, doing his best to sound strained. "I was just calling to tell you that I probably won't be in today. My back's really sore from that last jump through the 'Gate yesterday, and if it's all right with you I'm just going to take it easy, y'know lay around in my room all day."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to getting your report from that mission."

"I promise I'll get it done first thing tomorrow."

"All right. I hope you feel better soon. I'll send Carson down to check on you later."

_No, my back don't really hurt_

_But that's my alibi_

_My temporary ticket to anywhere but there_

"Oh, no," John said quickly, already inwardly cursing himself for sounding so defensive. "Don't bother him; I'll be fine."

"Okay, if you say so. Call me if you need anything."

"I will." When she hung up, he couldn't help but let out a "_Yes!_" He'd fooled her. Now, what to do with his off time...

_Call it an early weekend_

_Call it going off the deep end_

_Call it what you want_

_I've made up my mind_

He could do anything, well, within reason. As long as he stayed far away from Elizabeth's office and didn't do anything to draw attention to himself, anything went.

That was when he got the second crazy idea.

It came all in a rush, no planning required. He could highjack a puddle jumper and fly it to the mainland for the day - maybe even stay there all weekend if he played his cards right!

_I don't have to be me till Monday_

_Friday, Saturday, Sunday_

_Don't gotta face reality_

_Three days without punching a time clock_

_Three nights of going nonstop_

_No work and all play_

_I don't have to be me till Monday_

The only problem was how to get past flight control.

_Come on, John,_ he told himself. _You'll think of something._ In the meantime, he'd throw some stuff together and be on his way.

Grabbing a bag from beneath his bed, he crossed to the dresser and started throwing things into it. A few extra sets of clothes, swim trunks, sunglasses, sunscreen...

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

John froze and considered jumping back into bed. Hadn't he fooled his boss? Had she come to check up on him?"

"John? May I come in?" It was Teyla.

Somewhat relieved, he answered without thinking, "The door's open."

His teammate entered and glanced around the room, taking in the unmade bed, half-packed suitcase, and finally him. "I thought you were supposed to be resting."

_Wow, word travels fast here._ "Well..."

"Are you not injured?"

John made a show of rubbing his back. "Yes, my back is killing me." He reached out to her. "Help me to the bed, would you?"

Teyla squinted at him for a moment, them burst out laughing.

He straightened. "Hey, what's so funny?"

After regaining control of herself, his teammate answered, "You are not fooling me. I can see that you are fine."

_Great, so much for fooling everyone..._ "Did Weir send you?"

"No, I came by myself. She only told me that you were not well, so I figured I would check on you."

"How nice." John grimaced, knowing that he was going to be hearing about this one for a while.

"So, what are you doing?"

"Uh..." He glanced from her to his bag, them back again. There was no way he was going to bluff himself out of this one. "Running away, actually."

She gave him a questioning look but said nothing.

John sighed. "I was thinking about taking one of the puddle jumpers over to the mainland for a little vacation."

"That sounds like fun."

He looked up at her hopefully. "Really."

The was when the third crazy idea struck.

"I don't suppose you'd like accompany me?" John suggested hopefully.

_I can do what I wanna do_

_Be who I wanna be_

_Got no one to answer to_

_Soon as I turn the key_

_A cash machine, gasoline_

_And we're outta here_

_Call it an early weekend_

_Call it going off the deep end_

_Baby, you and me_

_We can leave it all behind_

Teyla smiled. "That sounds great."

_Maybe this is going to work out after all._ "Sure you wanna risk getting in trouble with the boss?"

"They will not catch us. It will be fun."

John shrugged. "Suit yourself. You might wanna bring some stuff, though." He gestured to his bag.

"I will." She turned to leave. "I will pack and meet you in the jumper bay in fifteen minutes."

"Sounds great," he said as he resumed putting things into the bag.

_I don't have to be me till Monday_

_Friday, Saturday, Sunday_

_Don't gotta face reality_

_Three days without punching a time clock_

_Three nights of going nonstop_

_No work and all play_

Fifteen minutes later, John lugged his full bag into the jumper bay and quickly looked around to make sure no one was watching before ducking into the nearest vehicle. "Okay, Teyla," he said as he secured it in one of the compartments, "now we can-" A snicker interrupted him, and he looked up for the first time.

Standing there was what seemed like half of the Atlantis crew. Teyla, Carson, Rodney, Ronan, several people he didn't know by name, and, most frighteningly, Dr. Elizabeth Weir.

"Oh, boy...," was all he could say.

With a grin, his boss asked, "Well, well, Mr. 'My-Back-Is-Killing-Me,' what do you think you're doing?"

"Uh...cleaning the puddle jumper because I'm too weak to do anything else?"

"Nice try, but no. I think you're trying to sneak off the base."

"What-!" He glared up at Teyla. "You told her, didn't you."

"I did," she admitted.

"And you!" he glared up at Elizabeth. "You knew I was faking from the beginning, didn't you?"

"Yup. But, you know what?"

"What?"

"I'm still going to let you go," she said.

"You're...what?"

"I said, 'I'm still-'"

"I know what you said, but why?" John demanded.

"Well, on one condition, anyway," Elizabeth clarified.

John was instantly wary. "And that is?"

The group all smiled innocently as they stepped aside, revealing a pile of bags and suitcases that nearly touched the top of the jumper.

His boss stated matter-of-factly, "You're taking the rest of us with you."

"Oh, boy." _This is so much trouble for just one day off..._ But of course he couldn't stay mad. One way or another, he'd gotten what he wanted. Shrugging it off, he put on his most dashing smile and said, "I think we're going to need another jumper."

_I don't have to be me..._

_Till Monday_

FIN.


End file.
